Woman. Mentor. Dancer. Healer. Medicine Woman. Miracle.
As long as I can remember I was longing for love.
The kind of love that would finally make me whole again. The kind of love that would make all the anger, the sadness, the shame and the hurt go away. The kind of love that would rescue me. The kind of love that would change everything. Including the system. Because I didn’t like our world. It seemed hostile to me. I was too sensitive, too vulnerable to survive.
So I numbed myself. First, with acting and sports. Then with food. Then with purging food. Then with not eating any food. Then with falling in love. Then with drama and heartbreak. Then with traveling. Then with diving as it gave me an opportunity to forget, to escape. Then with becoming obsessed about changing the world. And then everything collapsed.
After ten months of trying to stop him, my partner who had been my twin flame, decided to take his life and with his body, my life died too.
It was an experience that rocked my world at its core. Since then nothing has ever been the same again.
I decided to take on the quest that life had given me - to find out how to best serve my light.
Boy, if I had known what was waiting on the other side, I would have chosen a different path much earlier in my life.
But without the rock-bottom I had hit, I would have not been prepared to detach from the fantasies that I had created in my mind.
Every day a little more, I learnt how to give up control and fully surrender to my light. Surrender to my journey.
Surrender to my intuition that often conflicted other voices and needs in my head. I learnt how to tell the difference.
I learnt how to open my heart, and fall, and quickly get back up again, with an open heart, daring to love greatly.
Every day a little more, I surrendered to what my higher self wanted me to be, not who I thought I wanted to be.
Miraculously, when I didn’t need the love I was craving for so long because I had it within me, it found me also outside of myself.
It found me in the form of people who love the heaven out of me.
It found me in form of dance, community, nature, and so much bliss that every single cell in my body is bouncing in bliss remembering these ecstatic states of oneness with the universe.
It found me through adventures - inside and out.
It found me through orgasmic states of bliss that wash through my body when I allow it.
It found me through healing the past, my family, my roots.
It found me through embodying my purpose - changing the system through igniting a new awareness of love and erotic beauty in all beings on earth.