Three Feminine Qualities We Fear - And When We Need Them
Sep 16, 2025
Recently, I wrote about the crisis of masculinity in men and 3 core masculine qualities that are essential in life for all of humanity.
This week, I want to write about the Feminine - in all of us, not just in women.
Let me begin with asking you: “What comes to your mind when I say ‘Feminine’?”
Take a moment and reflect on the associations you have about ‘her’ based on what your parents or culture taught you about ‘the feminine’.
This will be different depending on where you grew up, and in which body you grew up in.
Maybe you were told the feminine is weak.
Or maybe you were told the feminine is sweet, nourishing and kind.
Or maybe only women are feminine, and a man certainly shouldn’t be ‘soft’ or ‘pretty’.
Whatever you were told, we you learnt it in context of a society that values unhealthy masculine qualities - faster, louder, bigger, more.
No wonder that many of us find it scary to be in their Feminine.
Because it doesn’t feel safe.
Not safe to surrender.
Not safe to receive.
Not safe to need help.
Not safe to be loud.
Not safe to be vulnerable.
Can you relate?
We were taught that if we softened, we might be taken advantage of - that we might get overlooked, not heard, and not seen.
We have learnt that when we are vulnerable and share what’s really going on below, we get hurt or punished.
That when we trust, we give our power away.
That when we say what we want or need, we will inevitably disappointed, so it’s better not to.
And so, we armour up.
We hide in our masculine qualities - doing, acquiring more, zoning out.
We resist others and the feelings in ourselves “I don’t want to feel this right now, and I certainly don’t want anyone else to know what I am feeling”
Or we became fiercely independent “I don’t need anyone. I will prove it to them”
But here’s the thing: when the feminine qualities are absent, not only do we suffer…
but so does the whole world.
Let me prove this to you.
Imagine how your life would be different if you embodied these 3 Feminine qualities:
Surrender
Imagine you knew that everything is going to be alright. That you’ll end up where you truly want to be for the evolution of your soul. That you’ll be loved. Imagine, then, just letting the flow of life take you there. Imagine you’d just let the current take you - no resistance, no fighting back, no fear of drowning. Surrendered.
Surrender is not coming from fear or defeat. It is not coming from being powerless. Surrender means trusting in the magic that you cannot see but you know is there. Surrender means to allow what is - to be accept it, to be curious, to say yes to what life has in store.
πThe shadow frequency of surrender is resistance and mistrust, when we say ‘no’ to everything, when we hide, get angry or wish everything was different. The overdeveloped form is resignation, when we believe we are powerless, when we believe our voice is not heard, or we have to 'give-in' even though something doesn’t feel good.
How would your life be different if you surrendered to life?
How would the world be different, if we surrendered more collectively?
Receiving
Receiving means allowing life and other people to give to you. In order to receive you need to know that you are worthy of having what others want to give you, and are worthy of having what you want. Receiving requires trust - the trust that you’ll not be taken advantage of. Allowing yourself to receive compliments, to receive devotion, to receive touch or caring, to receive more money, etc.
How much do you feel worthy to receive?
π The shadow frequency of receiving is hyper independence on the one hand and entitlement on the other. Hyper independence says: “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. Nobody ever cares for me, so why should I care about others?” Entitlement says: “I want what I want when I want it. I don’t have to be grateful because I deserve it. If I don’t get it, I will punish you.”
How would your life be different, if you'd be fully worthy to receive?
How would the world be different?
The Feminine in The Collective
When women, men, and all beings abandon these qualities in themselves, the world tilts further toward control, domination, and disconnection - further towards the belief that ‘humans’ are above everything else and are ‘better’ than nature.
It is the Feminine that reminds us that everything is interconnected.
That we are not forever.
That no matter how hard we appear on the outside, there is always something tender and sensitive inside.
That we are beautiful because of our vulnerability - not despite of it.
Being human is messy.
And this is exactly because of these cracks that we eventually have to humble ourselves before the Great Mystery of life.
When we reclaim the Feminine, we reclaim Sacred Union: not just between man and woman, but between matter and spirit, between self and other, between the human and the divine.
Sacred Union is not just about polarity — it is about the wholeness that arises when the masculine and feminine inside of us are allowed to finally trust each other.
Because sacred union is not just about feminine and masculine.
It’s about wholeness.
With Fire and Grace,
Bibi
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